Cameron Diaz has one of the most confusing bodies on the planet. I can't figure out if it's sexy or horrifying or both. It's like looking at a rainbow that's shining on a beautiful girl, only the girl is a rotting corpse and she also has a penis. And there's a panda in the background dancing to the Backstreet Boys. And his paws? Well they're not paws at all, but rather giant hooks. Yup. It's exactly like that.
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