Lindsay Lohan to Experience Labor Pains

Because Lindsay Lohan hasn't had a penis inside of her for months, we can rule out the possibility that she's pregnant.

But the actress will star in the 2009 comedy, Labor Pains, which is focused on a woman that pretends to be knocked up in order to avoid being fired.

Here's that film's official poster:

As long as she continues to have sex with Samantha Ronson, Lindsay Lohan needn't worry about a real-life pregnancy.