Paris Hilton attempted to be an exotic dancer at Club Marquee in New York early this morning. It’s kind of sad to watch Paris attempt to press her breasts together. It’s like watching an ant try to move a dump truck. It ain’t happening. At least for her anyway. The ant has a good shot, and not just because I gave him steroids last night because I was bored. Yeah, my Xbox broke so I decided to play God. I also replaced my feet with skis so I’m totally going to kick ass this winter. Even though I, uh, live in the desert. Hmm, maybe I should’ve thought this through a little more. I think I need a doctor. Now where did I park my dog-truck...
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